Purple Plum Fairy: My Baby is now a Big Boy

Friday, September 2, 2011

My Baby is now a Big Boy

My Kyle all-smile despite the missing teeth.

Time really had a way of making people both happy & somewhat melancholic. It all seemed like yesterday when I had Kyle brought to our house for the first time. Before I go into other details, let me get this straight: Kyle isn’t my biological son. For those who personally know me, you probably know that he’s the son of my elder sister (yes, he’s my nephew). Although I’m not his real mom, I’d have to say I’ve been acting on my sister’s behalf as Kyle’s mom for the longest time now. He’s been with me since he’s only a baby, around 8 months.

I have a confession to make: I admit that I sometimes get hurt when some people would “question” the mere existence of my blog. They were saying why on earth am I doing with a mommy blog when I’m not even a mom yet? I firmly believe I had the right to have a mommy/parenting blog because I had been raising Kyle since he was turned over to me. I’ve probably experienced everything a mom had except the actual giving birth. My experience is tantamount to those who had an adopted child.

Although I do not really have to put these into details, but I’d still want to for you guys to see that I do have a point. Kyle’s life wasn’t pretty normal to begin with. Kyle’s dad & my sister sort of had a very brief affair. Upon learning that my sister’s pregnant with his child, he had disowned Kyle already & had totally disappeared from her life. Yes, Kyle’s an unwanted child. He lost a family even before he was born. It was a good thing my sister did not abort him.

Kyle playing at Market! Market public playground.

When Kyle was only about 4 or 5 months old, a guy cousin (father’s side) poured an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol (read: 70 % isopropyl alcohol, the one’s used for disinfection & sterilization) mixed into Kyle’s milk bottle because of mere jealousy. Our cousin then was in his teens, rebellious & volatile in temper. My sister then had no idea why Kyle didn’t want to drink his milk even if it appears he’s very hungry. It was only my Dad who later discovered why upon smelling the milk bottle and later seeing the empty rubbing alcohol bottle.

Although that cousin said he’s sorry for almost killing an innocent baby, I bet he’ll be bringing the lesson he has learned for the rest of his life. Kyle doesn’t harbor any ill feelings with him, they’re even Facebook friends now. Kyle almost died at such a tender age. That incident made me decide to get him (my sister & dad lives somewhere else) & made him stay at my Mom’s house instead.

Originally, I wanted to get Kyle so that my sister could work aside from making sure he’ll be in good hands. But as circumstances would have it, my sister apparently hasn’t learned her lesson well. Instead of earning a living for her & her son, she got into another relationship. Soon she had totally forgotten her responsibilities as Kyle’s mom. And it was then that I realized how I had made her life too easy.

I was the one who taught Kyle his potty training. I also taught him his ABCs & 123’s plus knowing how to read. I saw all his milestones as he grew older each year. Upon seeing his potentials, I tried my best to help him to develop his talents. And when we (Mom & I) learned he was special (he’s got ADHD), we were deeply affected. It took sometime before we had accepted things as they are. But eventually, we tried to see it as a gift instead of a liability.

Today, my baby turns 9 years old. He’s no longer the cuddly “Tambeboy” we used to play with. Kyle’s now in Grade 4 and he’s growing taller each day. I seldom receive sweet butterfly kisses from him unlike before. We no longer sing together Barney songs like we used to, or play Caillou & Dr. Seuss CD-ROMS. It all seemed like yesterday when he wouldn’t want me out of sight. Now, he decides what to wear on his own and what cologne to wear. He even lords the remote control now.

I cherish every moment I spend with Kyle. Even if he’s now nine, I knew he’d still enjoy my special chao fan, braised pork, chicken adobo & anything I baked from the oven just as he used to when he was three.

And even if other mommies will never consider me as a mom, I wouldn’t really care much as long as I know I have a special place in Kyle’s heart, and to me, that's what matters most.