Practical tips for managing toddler meltdowns

 

Toddlers have a highly immature nervous system, which makes it difficult for them to manage and
 regulate their big emotions.

Trust comedian Jerry Springer to come up with a spot-on description of a toddler in the Terrible Twos. “Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender,” he said, “without a lid.”

Indeed, the dreaded behavior—tantrums, kicking, hitting, blood-curdling screams, and all-out defiance towards Mom and Dad at the most inappropriate times and places (the mall, at church, in a restaurant)—can be frustrating even to the most experienced parent. Moreso for first-time mothers who may have only heard or read about the Terrible Twos but wouldn’t know what to do if it finally struck.

According to Bernadette C. Benitez, MD, pediatrician at top hospital in the Philippines Makati Medical Center (MakatiMed), the Terrible Twos is a normal developmental phase that occurs when a child is between 18 to 30 months.

“At this age, they’re walking, climbing, and speaking in two-to-three-word sentences,” says Dr. Benitez. 

“They’re also starting to understand emotions, test boundaries, assert their independence, and realize that what they want may not necessarily agree with others. Most importantly, their nervous system is still highly immature, which makes it difficult for them to manage and regulate their big emotions.” Not getting their way coupled with not being able to express themselves makes them upset, which results in a serious meltdown. So, what’s a first-time mom to do?

“First of all, take a deep breath and remind yourself that no one’s at fault,” notes the MakatiMed doctor. “As a parent, you did nothing wrong. And as annoying and sometimes embarrassing as it is, a tantrum means your toddler’s just behaving developmentally appropriate for his or her age. The goal is to calm your kid down. To do that, you must be calm yourself.”

How you handle an outburst depends on what caused it and where you are, reminds Dr. Benitez.

If they freak out in a public place, take your toddler out to a quiet spot so you don’t disturb others. Go for a walk so they can simmer. Get down to your toddler’s eye level and speak to them in a gentle yet firm tone. “Asking reassuring questions like ‘What’s bothering you?’ ‘How can I help?’ as well as applying deep pressure touch such as rubbing their back, holding their hand, and letting them sit on your lap can help settle their nervous system and make them feel comfortable and safe,” says Dr. Benitez.

If they have a meltdown after you say no, the pediatrician suggests ignoring the tantrum. “By calmly ignoring the tantrum, you teach the child that their outburst is not an effective way to get what they want.

This process helps the child learn to self-regulate and find better ways to express their feelings,” explains Dr. Benitez. “Stay firm with your decision not to give in, and show them you mean business.”

Now what if the kid keeps saying no? “Instead of asking yes or no questions, give them choices. ‘Would you rather do this or that?’ or ‘If you don’t do this, then this will happen.’ You can also ask an older toddler what they prefer. By guiding them to make choices, you allow them to express themselves and understand what they truly want,” says Dr. Benitez.

If they hit or kick a playmate, separate the two, then apologize to and comfort the child who was hurt. “As for your toddler, find out why they hit, then state in a calm yet firm voice that you acknowledge their feelings, but inflicting pain on others is not the answer and has consequences,” recommends Dr. Benitez.

And if they repeatedly throw tantrums? Impose a time-out. “Let them sit or stand in a corner and stay there until you say they’re done. A time-out can help them manage their feelings. It will also remind them to behave better unless they want to sit or stand in a corner again,” the MakatiMed doctor says.

At some point, first-time moms may have an outburst themselves. “It’s only natural to raise your voice or lose your temper. You’re only human,” assures Dr. Benitez. “Cut yourself some slack. Once you’ve calmed down, it’s important to model accountability and apologize to your child for your own behavior. Strive to do better next time, because there will be a next time.”

For more information, please contact MakatiMed On-Call at +632.88888 999, email mmc@makatimed.net.ph, or visit www.makatimed.net.ph. Follow @IamMakatiMed on Facebook and Twitter.

Attipas Baby Shoes Product Review: Ergonomic Toddler and Baby Shoes Specifically Made for Little Ones Learning to Walk

Cerise Millicent or Baby Miles will only be turning one-year-old in December of this year, but as early as 10 months, she's becoming a fashionista already. Unlike other babies who gets irritated with garter headbands on their heads, Miles simply adores them. She enjoys being dressed up and likes matching her outfit with an accessory--be it a necklace or a pair of shoes. Psychologists says that even babies feel the need to express themselves, I guess in Miles' case, that would be it. A recent opportunity arose to review a pair of über cute Attipas ergonomic toddler and baby shoes. I didn't know anything about them at first, but after seeing fellow mommy bloggers' received their pairs, I started to read a little about them and began to love their concept. 

Attipas Shoes did not only look stylish, but they are essential shoes specifically designed to be lightweight like socks, but with far more support. It's like having a two-in-one product because when you look at it, Attipas Shoes has a built-in socks inside. They come in so many colours and styles. It was tough to choose because they all looked so fantastic. But Miles, being the girly baby that she is would certainly love Attipas Shoes' Pink Corsage. 

If your little one isn’t walking yet, it’s likely you dress his or her tiny feet in a good pair of socks, rather than shoes. As they begin to take their first steps, as Moms, it’s important that we invest in a good pair of pre-walker or toddler shoes for our babies–shoes that will grip and support, without the need to put a hole on your pockets.

Attipas Toddler Shoes are ergonomically designed and promise to ‘support toddlers’ first steps and thereafter.’ Lightweight and durable, they look something of a cross between a sock and a shoe – a rubber sole that provides grip, with a breathable, colourful sock helping to support the ankle and, best of all, ensure the shoes actually stay on.

Babies at Miles' age still usually hates wearing shoes, but with Miles, it wasn't really a problem at all. We didn't struggle much to introduce her to Attipas Shoes when she started to pull up and work on her walking. The only problem I've had was, I've gotten a shoe size bigger than her supposedly size. I didn't bother to exchange them anymore since babies' feet would often grow an inch each month and I know that by the time Miles turns 1, the pink corsage shoes would by then fit her perfectly. 

When Miles first tried on Attipas Shoes, I was kind of expecting that the shoes would somehow slow her down. But just like any happy baby in a comfortable pair of shoes, she would run, climb and stomp her feet. The shoes' lightweight material does all the trick. She had q great time running away from me. One thing I've noticed too about the Attipas, Miles would normally pull her shoes off the minute we've had arrived home coming from somewhere. But surprisingly with Attipas, it had taken another hour before she had agreed to take her shoes off. 

Decked out with her lovely Attipas shoes, our mini reviewer was able to grip the floor well enough to scoot around the room – resulting in smiles all around. A hot, humid day, it was good to see the shoes also lived up to their claim of being breathable, with fine holes in the sock fabric there to release heat and prevent clammy, sweaty feet.

There's no denying these booties looked somewhat unique. Slipped on, however, and the trendy colors and designs creates a more fabulous look to any toddler’s outfit. There's a roomy toe area at the front end of the shoes which has been designed by Attipas to allow sufficient room for the toes to wiggle and move – something that will apparently aid cognitive and motor development.  With their size ranging from newborn to 40 months, Attipas shoes are available in sizes from small to extra large, and a size guide on their website makes selecting the optimal fit for your toddler easier. 

Overall, the shoes are great. Apart from being really cute and funky, I'm glad that Attipas shoes aren't chunky at all. They offer toe and heel protection which is a lot better when compared to soft soled pre-walkers. Attipas is lightweight, lots of colors and designs to choose from and best of all, they are machine washable. That last part alone makes it truly a winner as far as I'm concerned. I'd definitely recommend Attipas Shoes to fellow Mommies out there.

Launched in 2011 after seven years of research and development, it’s easy to see why Attipas have quickly become a popular brand in Australia and in other Asian countries. These lovely shoes made for little toes are slowly but surely making waves in the international market. Affordable and funky, practical and safe – what more can you ask for? 

Special thanks to Mommy Blogger Philippines for the opportunity to review this awesome product. 

Disclaimer: I am not compensated for this post. Opinions expressed are my own.